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The Tortured Soul Part II – Love Lost Forever

If only the past could be erased.  If I could kiss the past goodbye I wouldn’t be afraid to live for today. But the past has control of my life. Holding on to what could have been. I should let go, I need to let go. It was a loss that threw a hole in my soul.

 

We don’t know how the story ends until it’s been told.

 

Our love was so strong; the kind of love that you know will last forever. We loved unconditionally. We shared joy, we shared pain. My love was embodied in you. We were supposed to grow old together. Huh; such childish thinking. But it was you that I lived for and it would have been you that would have died for.

 

You moved on… I deserved it and now it’s my own heart that hurts me. ”You’re better off by yourself” I said silently. I was wrong, I’d never been so wrong in my life. It became impossible for me love someone else. I tried… I tried so hard. I thought I could replace you. I fooled myself into thinking there was room in my heart for someone else. I’ve become helpless… hopeless. I can’t trust my feelings to fall in love again. To want to love again, no. Love broke my heart…no it shattered my heart. The sun…my sun doesn’t shine at all. A moment of despair that has lasted over 9 years now; I’m broken and I can bear the pain no longer.

 

There’s always something that reminds me of you. Trying not to love you the way I do. Deep down I don’t want to be rid of you. Why did you go and fall in love with someone else? You left me empty…an emptiness that is breaking me. I want to hurt just a little less. I used to smile, I used feel; now what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do without you?

 

Who will dry my tears? I want YOU to dry the tears that I cry. I suppose I’m better off this way, broken. I won’t get it right; I’ll do this all wrong again. Yes, I’m better off this way. While my emotions scream slowly, silently, shh don’t speak. Whatever you want to say, say it with your heart. The loss that threw a hole in my heart is closing…

 

To move on I will tell myself: Our love did not exist. True love does not exist. WE did not exist. My heart, my love for you did not exist.

 

Love that is lost will not exist again because it is…

Lost Forever

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About candilish79

I am a 31 year old novice writer. My writing is filled with emotion, pain, turmoil, conquering and overcoming the daily strains that life throws at us. I relate to you my own experiences and others have related their experiences on how they have handled difficult times in their life. My goal is working to finish my first book that has been allowing me to "Reinvent Myself"

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