Ok, here we go. I think we may all need this. I’m lumping us all together so I won’t be alone. This will be my first step to emotional and mental healing. You’re free to voice your opinions as long as they are in good taste and please choose your words wisely. We do not want anyone to become stumbled or to breakdown (me…I’m fragile)
We know that in this system we are all plagued with emotions that can burden us. Some wear their heart on their sleeves, while others can be cold, heartless. And still others seem to have some sort distorted view of the world. What kind of lenses are you wearing? In any case, we can make changes in how we think, feel, act and react. Is it possible to have a peaceful version of yourself? My peace comes in the form of prescriptions. As christians we are admonished to pray incessantly to Jehovah and to throw all of our burdens on Him. And no doubt we do that! And we can be assured that he hears us and will make us complete in paradise. What can we do now? What type of emotions plague you to your very core?
Anger, anxiety, betrayal, guilt, overwhelming sadness, pain of a shattered heart…these are the emotions that belong to you and to you alone. Satan uses our emotions against us and in a sense “hijacks” our state of mind. I’m still trying to get mine back. I need closure…we all need closure in one or more areas in your life to even begin shedding these harmful toxic emotions. The simplest action: Prayer. It doesn’t create any new problems.
What else? I have been told, more than once that burying my feelings is only damaging me further. So what am I going to do about it? Pour out my heart in a letter, in therapy? Clear up confusion or just clearing the air with someone? (I choose to brush it off most of the time) Forgive yourself? Apologize? Delete people from your FB life? (hehe) Or cut them out of your life altogether. Your past can become your future if you don’t let go. Easier said than done. But it sounds good right?! You can’t move ahead if you’re always looking behind. (Lot’s wife… pillar of salt)
Are you stuck in the same routine day after day? Work, meetings, service…work, meetings, service. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this routine! But…can you write a new life script? Push yourself out of your comfort zone and create new opportunities for yourself. Change in routine some times cause me severe anxiety…MS flare-ups… seizures. The thought of it makes me twitch. How do I create a new opportunity for myself when I don’t want to see the outside? When sadness and depression has covered me like a mudslide?
The reinvention of self doesn’t happen when you hate the person your are. It happens when you love yourself enough to believe that you can do better and deserve better. Accept yourself…accept myself…accept myself. It seems taboo to me. I don’t hate me…I hate where my emotions take me. I hate that I can even get to feeling dead inside. I see failure, I see multiple missed opportunities: When you adjust your perception, you transform your reality.
Life is managed , not mastered. We have to…NO I have to start taking ownership of my emotions. I don’t want them… I try to chuck them aside and yet they come back. Taunting me, creating a person I don’t know, a person I don’t want to know. A person who has control… it’s time to take the wheel and put the brakes on. We/I do not need to be “complicated”. I want and need to find the Candi that doesn’t have to put on a pretty face to hide the abyss that is my mind.